Houston GM Wade And President Smith Given Astro Glide Out Of Town

New Houston Astros Owner Jim Crane continued with his sweeping changes to the organization, firing GM Ed Wade and President Tal Smith on Sunday night.

The first and biggest change took place recently with the Astros moving to the American League, a condition of the sale by Major League Baseball, read Bud Selig.

First of all, with Drayton McLane, Wade, and Crane, we are happy to get rid of as many homonyms as possible in this story because we don't really pay close attention and we don't need the added confusion.

Pouty when not catered to

Second, this franchise has been a drag for a number of years, and we would like it if they picked it up a little there in Houston.  The Rockets haven't done much in a while, and after the Oilers left we don't have any interest in a football team whose name reads like an envelope address.  McLane has shown limited capacity for getting anything done, and we imagine his executives' failures stem from his ineptitude as a manager or stifling constraints on them.

However, we are very unhappy with pulling the Astros out of the National League.  The team is by history a NL team and has no business going to the junior circuit, especially since the Texas Rangers already represent the state in the AL.  However, Nolan Ryan has been very vocal about creating a rivalry with the Astros and his Rangers and it has been very obvious that Selig is more than anxious to shine Ryan's boots whenever they pass by his lips.  Selig has been hot on interleague play and extending the playoffs, and balancing the number of teams in each league this way helps as he fluoridates the waters of MLB with his commie-driven agenda.



Will never hear you

For the record, we stand against interleague play.  American and National League teams should play each other only in the World Series.  Maybe spring training.  Other than that, no interleague play ever, until the designated hitter rule is designated for assignment.  Then we'll talk about it.

The wild card does not need to be extended to a second team.  This will only unnecessarily prolong the already-too-long season with phony drama.  This year's fantastic final day of the season would never have come about under Selig's plan.

What should be done is contract the league by eliminating the Florida Marlins, the Tampa Bay Rays, the Toronto Blue Jays, and then send the Brewers to the American League.  Canadians don't care about baseball, it rains too much for the Florida franchises to play without a delay or a roof for fans who really don't exist, and everyone thinks the Brewers are still in the AL anyway so why not put them back there?  Bob Uecker won't care either way.

Where was Bush Sr. on 11/22/63?

This is what you get when a former used-car salesman teams up with a locally beloved hall-of-fame pitcher/team owner palling around with a two-term president who were both born and raised and now living in the state that killed John F. Kennedy.